...Disguised as Decisions

I hate decisions.  Or perhaps I should say I hate making decisions.  They're stressful, easy to over-analyze, multi-faceted, relational, often money related, risky, and always include the fear of regret.  One must balance their needs and desires with advice from respected others, scripture, and how God is moving in their life.  Trying to reconcile hopes, dreams, and goals with reality, finances, and time factors often scare me away to a point of unhealthy complacency.  The swirling mix of thoughts inside my mind include, but are not limited to:

What if I make the wrong choice?  This could forever alter the completion of my life goals!  I know what I want; it seems so unattainable!  What if I end up broke?  How will I ever afford that?  But I'll miss that person too much!  I could fail that test!  Heaven forbid I get less than an A.  And so on, and so forth until I fall asleep or get lost in a song or find a distraction (read: Facebook.)

Yet, what a blessing it is to have choices.  Many people in my life are trapped, backed into corners and immovable because of circumstances in their life.  Perhaps its debt, or a strict loyalty; a contract, or a health issue.  The summation being, they are not free to make life changes.  What I've come to realize, is that decisions are indicative of freedom.  I have a choice.  Or many, to be precise.  So while I sit here moaning and groaning about how complicated and confusing life is, another may sit wishing that they could change aspects in their life, try something new, take risks and adventure, and be free to pursue their goals.

So, next time I'm bordering on an emotional breakdown over whether to buy the black Old Navy maxi dress at the thrift store that is significantly cheaper than retail price but is also kinda faded and is it just me or does it make me look fat but I also have really been wanting a maxi dress lately and it's sleeveless and I love sleeveless...I'm going to take a deep breath and say "this, is a side affect of this marvelous thing called freedom."